Right to talk~~~

Well,it is 20th, and maybe we will celebrate Ramadhan in 22th. It's mean that it is already 20 days I came back from Malaysia. I now working on regression analysis. Have to learn the multiple regression before can use logistic regression for my data. Who said statistic is easy? It is simple to play with the tools whatever it is, but it is hard to interprate every single numbers and symbols. Ghezzzze....PhD.

It is not my first aim for writing today. Again, it is about my lab. It is not easy to live in Japan. It is what I feel after nearly two years I am living here. Maybe it is because my lab's environment.

We will have 4 days conference and I am not being invited to join while the other labmates are busy working on preparation. That is what I feel. They held a meeting with everybody involved but not me and another foreign student. Feel that my lab has a little bias towards foreign students. I have face this situation since I came here. I feel lonely, no body to discuss about how hard living in Japan, how hard to understand this and that in research works, even what the agendas for lab, usually I know nothing. I tried to approach them but seems it is hard for them to mingle around with me.

That's why I don't really suggest if there is any of my friend that want to pursue their PhD here in Japan (especially my lab) if they don't have the basic Japanese. If they really want to, please make sure that the SV has grants, be able to speak english and had supervised a lot of foreign students. Do not choose by the rank of University. But choose depends on the SV.

I admit how I admire Japan very much before I came here, but it is very different that what you see in JDrama. Living in Japanese communitee sometime can make you suffer inside, and you have to know how to deal with it.

About research in Japan, especially for my area, it is not about the outcome, but about the learning process. I learn to be patient, I learn to think, I learn to learn....and I learn to keep my feeling deep inside. I believe people will say that it is PhD. But I do say that PhD in Japan is different because of their culture.

Well, again, it is just my experience. I don't really want to express this feeling but I just want to state something for myself, which is - PhD is not totally about academic,journals, conference etc, but it is about building our self esteem, knowing and understanding our weaknessess and strength, and also learn how to spread some love even we are stress and depress~~~ :)

Small 'da' - paddy field in my area. Can you see that yellow thing? It is used to fright small birds from eat the paddy, I think....but I actually dunno the purpose...hehe.... It is very calming bicycling near the paddy field sometimes....but I think the sceneries of paddy field in Malaysia are more beautiful.