Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The writing tasks

It has been a very long time I don't leave any 'scratch' in this blog. Sorry for not finishing the story of honeymoon. I just don't have much time to manage the blog.

I am very busy these days. I am hoping that I could finish writing on September and have a viva defence on Dec, but seems it is impossible. I am miserably did a very big false in analysis and have to re-do it again. I have Transport Policy, Accident Analysis Prevention, TRB and thesis to write. Not including the conferences.

Each time I got email from sensei, I couldn't eat well, (but I can sleep very well)... even couldn't think well. Because I am afraid of being scolded. I think most of us in Japan afraid of being scolded by senseis. I heard a lot of stories ( and some experienced by myself), that when it come to work, senseis or supervisors become very strict. Sincerely, the Japanese senseis aura are very different and I believe that only people that studied in Japan understand about it. Maybe it is culture.

But deep inside my heart, I keep on convincing myself that - even sensei get angry with my work, I learned it by myself, I bought the books by myself, I struggled on the task by myself coz my previous sensei got badly ill and then die, I don't have good basic on math and stats...I don't have classess for all the things that I want to know ( coz every class is in Japanese), I don't have friends to disscuss because I am the only PhD foreign student. I am not free....

Not only me experienced this, I believe... I just want to finish everything and pack my bags. Eagerly to reach the finish line. But.... a lot of tasks come...and here I go...back to work. Sigh!