Ohhhh My Karada! Ohh My Prada!!

Fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
What a very long fuhh!! Cerita ini bermula last week apabila saya masuk ke dalam bilik SV dgn penuh harapan dan kesungguhan untuk menjelaskan apa misi saya untuk 2010 ini. Saya sudah siap dengan lists untuk beberapa journals and conferences yang saya target untuk thn ini. Dan juga future study yang bakal saya buat dalam masa beberapa minggu sebelum berakhirnya bulan Mac. Saya juga berharapan agar dapat berdiskusi tentang apa yang saya patut tulis untuk dissertation saya.

Oh ... dan rupa-rupanya lain yang berlaku. Tiba di bahagian future study, sv mendpati selama ini saya tidak menggunakan analysis ordinal logit model sebaliknya menggunakan binary logit. SV jadi marah dan saya dihalau keluar dengan beliau meninggalkan saya dengan alasan tidak mempunyai masa. Sedangkan saya baru bertemu beliau tidak sampai 30 minit. Saya disuruh membetulkan semula semua analisis. Actually, saya baru tahu tentang kewujudan ordered logit 2 hari sebelum berjumpa beliau. Sebelum ini saya menganalisis menggunakan binary logit kerana itu yang tertulis di dalam buku statistik menggunakan SPSS yang saya ada. Seriousa, saya belajar ttg tools apa yang patut saya gunakan dengan sendiri. Saya decide sendiri , buat revision sendiri dan mencari bahan sendiri bagi menyelesaikan masalah research yang saya reka frameworknya sendiri. Paling menyakitkan dalam proses ini ialah, saya tidak mempunyai tempat berbincang selain SV yang sibuk, kerana sayalah satu-satunya student PhD di dalam lab itu. Agak sukar meminta penjelasan dari teman-teman se lab yang berbangsa Jepun. Seperti itik bercakap dgn ayam belanda. Ohhhhhhhhhhh......saya memang byk belajar melalui kesilapan dlm proses ini.

Sejak minggu lepas, saya bekerja siang dan malam membetulkan analisis. Dan paling memenatkan ialah bahagian memperbetulkan jurnal yang telah ditulis. Saya baru sahaja email kepada sv. Ini tidak bermakna kerja telah selesai. Pasti ada saja pembetulan demi pembetulan. Masih byk kerja bertimbun yang perlu dilakukan. Saya mengharapkan masa berjalan dengan laju, dan saya mampu berlari laju bersama-sama masa. Tidak sabar mahu menghabiskan kehidupan di Jp ini....

p/s: Karada = body.

Oh My Coach!

Woho! Dah lama tak buat luahan perasaan. Sebb before this busy writing journals and conference papers kejar target for 2010. Plus, getting busy for the big day preparation. However, suddenly, minggu lepas masa meeting dgn sv kena buat pembetulan semula dengan semua analisis. Terkejut la jugak. Selama ni, setiap apa yang saya hantar tu mcm dah betul. This is all about the tools. Lab saya memang gunapakai statistical tools untuk majority research. Macam-macam tools ade selain SPSS, ade LIMDEP, AMOS, LISREL, TSP, R language. Kalau boleh nak belajar semua. Tapi bila ukur tahap penguasaan stats diri sendiri...lemah lutut rasanya. Dalam SPSS sahaja ada macam-macam statistical methods.

Seriosanyer memang sedih dengan ilmu stats yang ade dlm diri. A lots of methods tak tahu. Dan penguasaan math and stats orang-orang Jepun ni memang tahap ichi-ban. Buku-buku math dan stats diterjemah dalam bahasa mereka. Patutla cepat faham. Sedangkan kita ni....belaja math dan stats ikut English ( dulu kat UKM belaja campur2 BM/BI).....Walaupun bagi sesetengah orang tools itu tak penting, tapi bagi saya ia sangat penting. Sebb nak guna tools kita kena faham dari foundamental. Teringat satu software backcalculation di Lab Pavement. kalau setakat guna software tu tahu tak tahu macam mana backcalculation berfungsi, tentu-tentulah data yang dimasukkan tu x bermakna...it's just numbers. OK! Transfering tech dah bermula. Harap-harap berguna.

Oh My Gurl!

My head feels like want to explode. The dateline for wctrs is on 1st February. OMG! I am running out of the time .The problem is I have already paid the 5% of the fees for the paper reviewed by myself but I had already sent my previous writing to Transport Policy Journal as what sensei asked me to do. The writing was actually for the wctrs but in order to accelerate the process to get published journal, sensei ordered me sent the paper directly to the journal publisher.
Actually the reviewed paper in wctrs will be also evaluated for publishing in Transport Policy. It is likely sensei actually don't have grant to send me to the conference so he considered as if the paper is ready why I have to wait. Now the problem arises on how I should construct the flow for the wctrs paper. Now, every day I write write read write read write................bah!

It's getting freezing here. I delayed my post for new year's resolution story but actually I don't have any new resolution to make. Just, I am a little bit worry with my performance in this winter season. I am very slow. Very very slow.

I am working on my second paper to compare the psychological and behavior impact to the motorcyclists while they are using different type of motorcycle lanes. My words and ideas also freezed and nothing much I have done for this past a month.

I can't waste much time for blogging right now...better I pen off and do the important thing first. ;p

Saja entry kali ini tulis dlm BM. Hari ini cuaca tak berapa sejuk. Oleh kerana rasa happy dengan weather yang baik, so tgh hari tadi masak asam pedas ikan terubuk Sarawak. Santai2 sedikit, tetapi bila dapat email sensei terus rasa yabai. Memang banyak kerja, kalau tak pandai control stress ni, mmg tak akan ada mood langsung untuk buat semua kerja...Sigh! Selagi x habis PhD ni, takde la holidays. Lagi2 next april dah start thn D3. PhD ni pun kerja juga, tiap2 bulan gaji masuk...jadi anggaplah SAYA BERKHIDMAT UNTUK NEGARA hingga grad.

Di bawah email sensei...rajin betul sensei ni...saya sent malam semalam pukul 12.30 malam, ptg sbtu dia balas. Adoyai...

Hi, Nur san;

It is a good first step for the next analysis.

Beore the regression analysis, you need compare means for all the variables 
(by ANOVAs and t-statistics) between conditions. Make a table for comparing 
means and standard deviation for all the variables with the information of 
ANOVA result. If you find any significance of ANOVAs,you can do t-test 
between any pair of conditions for that variable.

Best.

Satoshi

second baby has a problem

see the red circle ...it suppose to be less than 1. but it's not. grrrr....it makes my day turn upside down.

Tonight my lab has a bounenkai party – the end year party but I skip it. It is better for me to not join because it starts at 9p.m and maybe ends at 11.00p.m. It is too cold and tiring to walk back from station in this kind of weather.alone .Plus, each of us has to pay 4000yen for the party which I think it cost too much. The price is expensive because of the beers. And I am not drinking of course, so if I go I will waste such amount of money (that I can buy for four new shirts )just for paying their beers.

We had a long presentation day today from 1.00p.m to 8.00p.m and after that my lab mates rushing for the bus to go to the party place before 9.00p.m. The senseis also join the party.

It is very different between young professor and old professor. I think I am lucky because get the opportunity to do my PhD under two different professors. Late Prof Kitamura was very famous and respectable person. I was under his supervision until the early of this year and had met him for several times only. Each time I met him, I always felt want to cry and stupid. His question was hard to answer and almost every time I felt like had been scolded. He was 60 years old when he died because of cancer and I am his last PhD student. Yesterday before sleep I cried because suddenly I remembered his words while I was doing the presentation. It was like a sharp knife that made a really deep cut which I will remember those words maybe forever.

Those memory came suddenly because my 婚約者 had faced the hard situation for 彼のlast プレゼンテーションの準備. What we face here is something to be reminded when we become a supervisor for our students one day. Either the student will ‘success’ in his/her research is actually depends on the supervisor’s way of guidance. I don’t know in the places other than Japan but, what I and 婚約者have been experienced here is might be the bitter part of medicine. We hate it but we have to swallow it.

Picture of 2 years ago when I first came to the lab. Late Prof Kitamura asking Petr about his life showing his concern to his student.